go into ether

I’ve been back in the United States for just over a week.  I haven’t had any culture shock coming back except when the plane was descending over Chicago and the big picture patterns of the way humans live kept on coming closer and closer in the forms of business districts and subdivisions.  Sylvan picked me up at the O’Hare and then we had the strip malls of Illinois grand tour.  I stayed in Milwaukee with Sylvan and his family for a few days and rested until I felt marvelous again and then bussed back to Minnesota.  It’s been wonderful especially to spend time with my sister and my niece, but I caught some horrible cough thing from my father and have been sick again ever since.

The universe may be telling me to relax and restore myself, I get it, but I am getting annoyed at my crashed immune system and once I feel ok again, I am going to start a juice detox.  Finally.

I woke up at midnight from shaky dreams and haven’t been able to fall back asleep.

So part of what motivated this trip in the first place was my desire to live in another culture and become more or less fluent in another language.  But another part was fear of what has been happening in the United States and wanting to be far away from it.  And what I really learned about myself is that I would rather be known than unknown and that freedom truly is a state of mind.  And I´m satisfied with that - a lo menos for the time being.

I think people in general are more afraid in the United States than they are in Guatemala.  The types of fears can be very different as are the concepts of security or safety.  People in my country have given up so much liberty for the illusion of security and it seems to be worse everyday.  More and more people are waking up to this, but waking up to the fact that we have designed is mired in unnecessary complexity.  I have always disagreed with those in the vague anti-civ camp that the system needs dismantling.  I believe the system will break itself and life energy could better be spent learning new skills and enjoying oneself and living your life in accordance to what you value.  I feel a sense of dread having to pass through U.S. Customs and Homeland Security, not because I have anything to hide or anything illegal but because the way I am treated and insulted by having to submit to it in the first place.

I leave on Thursday.  I´m going to take a chicken bus to Guate and spend the night and have a layover in Houston and eventually get into Chicago by late afternoon.  My thirst for travel is quenched for the time being and I will be in the United States for whatever happens next.